It is hard to eat after hearing these facts.
I heard these words spoken by a friend at the Grace Presbytery Spring Fling this weekend. "It is not "them" it is us." she was talking about women who suffer the hands of abuse.
1 in 3 women will be raped, abused or beaten in her lifetime...
That number shocked me.. I don't know what to do with it. I've known three women in my life, that I know of, who have suffered abuse at the hands of the man who professed to love them.
One learned to hide the bruises behind her stage make-up and her hurt behind her church work. She was a leader in her church, successful, raised wonderful children. The seemingly perfect wife and mother. No one knew what was going on behind that beautiful smile of hers.
I held the safety deposit box key for one. It held the letter that was proof that her husband had killed her. I was to give it to the police if I didn't hear from her for a while. I visited her when she took her children and escaped during the night. They had left the home, but the fear stayed with them as they jumped every time a strange car went down the road in the tiny town in the middle of no where. They were afraid he had found them and the beatings would be worse.
Another I met at the Presbyterian Night Shelter. We went around the circle at the beginning of a program I led for girls one night saying the best thing that happened to us today. One little girl shyly said "We got to come here." I asked why they came. She told the story of tying their sheets together to sneak out the window in the middle of the night because her mother's boyfriend beat them - all of them. They had been hiding in their car, under their belongings during the day and searching for food in dumpsters during the night. The girls were about 5 and 8 years old.
I remember coming back from a Girl Scout trip one time. The girls were teasing me and I jokingly said, "you are going to make me cry and I get very ugly when I cry." One in the back seat said, "Like my mother does when my daddy hits her on the head with a frying pan."
I can't even begin to imagine living with that kind of fear. Yeah, my marriage didn't work out, but to this day, I know he loved me and it broke his heart when he hurt me by leaving.
75% of all Sub-Saharan Africans ages 15-24 infected by HIV/AIDS are women.
I wasn't surprised when I read on the rescue.org site that 75% of women in Sub-Saharan Africa suffer from HIV/AIDS. I've been there, seen them even held their hands and prayed for them and their children.
I learned that one man infected their entire village. It's not uncommon.
75% of all sexual assaults worldwide are against girls ages 15 and under.
I look at my granddaughters - ages 14, 11 and 10 - and thank God it is not them. But it is the one we pray for regularly in my Bible study and prayer groups. Her mother sold her when she was 12 for drugs. It is the little girl down the street whose behavior changes suddenly. Why does the girl suddenly withdraw? Why does she suddenly run away from a seemingly loving home?
Maybe we should take a closer look. We won't. We are afraid of what we will find.If we know, we have to face that nasty, dark reality and we have to deal with it. We don't want to know, so we don't look closer.
Perhaps it is time we look closer. Perhaps it is time we stand up and take action. Perhaps it is time that we band together and do something to stop this madness. Like you, I just don't know what to do. I feel very, very helpless.
City of Joy
I found an article tonight about a place in the Congo - City of Joy. The article says
"The City of Joy is a place where survivors of sexual violence can go to heal physically and emotionally, and gain skills and leadership training through programming. The knowledge they gain here will allow them to return to their homes with tools to help rebuild their lives. The concept seemed innovative and I was particularly drawn to the fact that it was thought up completely by the women of the DRC themselves. Who better to decide how to address their real needs?
...The City of Joy has the capacity to change and inspire groups of women. These women can change their communities. And these communities can change the province and the country. I believe it is in this way that the message of turning pain to power can spread like an epidemic. Just as violence and terror spread throughout the country, why can there not be an epidemic of empowerment and peace?"
Wouldn't it be wonderful if every city had a City of Joy?
Pray
I don't know what else to do but pray. I feel helpless. But I will pray for the women suffering from abuse, here at home, my neighbors, my friends and women around the world. I invite you to pray with me.
And, since I didn't have the words to pray, I went looking for some prayers...
St.Maria Goretti,
Patroness of Abused Children
Prayer for those suffering from abuse
Dear God, we ask you to help all those who suffer from
abuse.
Help them find healing and peace in their life.
May Maria Goretti who was strengthened by Your Grace
join with us in prayer for healing of all victims of abuse,
particularly those abused as children or young adults.
Grant us your Love that we might reach out to them in
Your Name with hope in times of trial.
As Maria prayed for her attacker, grant us the grace to
pray for the true conversion of all involved with the abuse:
that they might seek Your Mercy through prayer and
penance.
Loving God, pour into our hearts and lives your healing
Spirit, that the sacredness of every human person might be
respected and protected as the precious image of God.
Help us to live in the peace which Maria Goretti had found
in Christ and in the love of his mother Mary.
We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Maria Goretti Network: www.mgoretti.org
I was curious. Who is Maria Goretti? What is her story? This is what I learned...
WHY Maria Goretti? You can click on the link to learn more, the short version is that Maria was 11 years old when a 20 year old neighbor ordered her to the bedroom. She refused. He became enraged and stabbed her 14 times in her heart lungs and intestines. Asked if she forgave her murderer, she replied, "Yes, for the love of Jesus I forgive him...and I want him to be with me in Paradise."
Maria's example, of forgiveness of the one who harmed her, moved a victim of abuse to seek God's help to forgive in that way.
and from beliefnet. com
I’m prompted to pray – for this grieving and confused young man, for their extended family and friends, and then for all the women suffering in similar situations. Domestic violence is epidemic. Let’s join together now and ask for the tempering peace of God to intervene – at this moment – in the thousands of individual relationships poisoned by the threats and fears of violence. Please join me in this prayer. If you know of someone personally who needs God’s saving hand, add your own words below…
“God of peace, there are many places and many people who do not experience your peace. Right now there are many, many women and children who live under the dark weight of the fear of violence right in their own homes. We pray for your protection, and for wisdom for friends and officials to help bring that right protection to them. We pray for the many men who themselves feel powerless and confused about their relationships. We ask that you would help them find healthy ways to work out their frustrations and to find hope without resorting to destructive impulses. God, work in our country to stem this epidemic. We ask for your perfect peace…”
Read more: http://blog.beliefnet.com/prayerplainandsimple/2009/10/a-prayer-for-domestic-violence.html#ixzz1JSn35zBI
So, hard as it is, we also need to pray for the abusers. Pray that they find hope, healing, peace and the strength to stop the cycle of abuse.
Love
It is hard to love the unlovable, but it is they who need love the most.
It is easy to love the victims. We know they need our love.
So, join with me as I learn to love them both. Help me have the strength and courage to love the easy to love as well as the hard to love.

